Mixed feeling. Complicated

I prayed,
if he wasn't for me,
then let this feeling subside.
then I noticed
I wasn't that into you anymore
I wondered why at first
but then I remembered my request to Him
He grant my wish.
it's not that I regret it
but I am a little bit sad.
Cause we're not as close as we once were
even though it was so brief
now I don't know how to act
I don't know how to invite you to hang out
I'm not even sure whether you wanted anything to do with me anymore
I'm scared I'd be a burden
I don't want to always be in your way
but then again
you're always the first person that came to my mind
if I wanted to go anywhere,
do anything with,
It'd be you
not because I like you, no
but because you're nice to be around
even though you're so mean to me
blerghh

S O S

I need you
Please call me

Escape

I hate it here
But
This is my only escape

I'm not okay

It's just freaking hard
And fucking tiring
To have to pretend that you're okay
When really inside you are not

No words to describe

The friend I need that never existed

Nobody here ever listens
They hear me
But never listens
I need you
I know you'd listen to what I have to say
I know you'd know something is up
Something is wrong
But when I finally get to talk to you
I guess I finally realized
You're not the solution too
You don't listen too
And I finally remembered
I'm alone in this world
Always have been.
Always will be.
I'll always have no one to turn to
No shoulder to cry on

Knife. An ol fav.

You touched my life
With a softness in the night
My wish was your command
Until you ran
Out of love
I tell my self I'm free
Got the change of living just for me
No need to carry on
Now that you're gone

Knife
Cuts like a knife
How will I ever heal
I'm so deeply wounded
Knife
Cuts like a knife
You cut away the heart of my life

When I pretend when I smile
To fool my dearest friends
I wonder if they know
It's just a show
I'm on a stage day or night
Through my charades
But how can I disguise
What's in my eyes
Oh oh oh oh oh ...

I try and try locking up
The pain I feel inside
The pain of wanting you
Wanting you