hole

im trying dear

im trying my best

to respect ur decision

n after ysterday,

i can finally breathe again

its enough n im satisfied =)

at last,

i can honour ur request with a smiling face

but i cant deny

i miss u sayang

i pray i'll find a vessel that can fill this hole one day

like u've found yours

sorry i cant impress you

i cant depend on my family

im not wealthy

i cant impress u with xpensive gifts

but i worked really hard to earn tht money by myself

the girl u see now, 

 tht worked like a slave,

the one u forced to eat,

who used to be m.b.i (lol.hehe)

thts the result of my hard work

n im proud of myself.cause

 i did it sincerely n it comes from my heart

i dont need ur praise or acknowledgement like u gave others :)

i just wish u would really use n appreciate it

n understand how much u mean to me

how i'd suffer anything for u

tht would be enough for me =)

happy turning 20 again heart :)

love always,

me.

happy 20th birthday sayang

happy 20th birthday sayang

im so proud of you

i wish i could be by your side

no words can describe how i feel

i just needed you to know

that i was always with you n will always be

no matter how you push me away

cause im not going to make the same mistake

u needed me when i thought u didnt

that was my grave mistake

im so sorry

i should've known better

may u have a great day dearest

may u find that happines u were looking for

may u always be with the one u truly love

ps:

my head is all screwed up.

but in midst of all that,

i still miss you,your company

why.

why is it so

why

ps: thank you,

for asking and ur concern

where were you?

u always wanted me to care n be there.

u blamed me for not caring when i really did

n eventhough u think i was not there when u need me,

i was always praying for u.

do i need to tell u out loud?

bcause i did try to tell u.

but u never realize.

never even try to.

i needed you

so bad

but where were you?

i had to swallow it all by myself

u swore to be there whenever things like this happen

u swore.

u were the only living soul that knew

that i tell everything to

the only living soul that i trusted 

so,thank you.

very much.

u got what u wanted

ur dreams finally came true

never needed me

not now not then.

not like i did atleast.

thanks for your ignorance.

thanks for neglecting.

thanks for breaking every single promise

thanks for making me hope

then leave me hanging.

thank you very,very much.

Liz Phair - Everything To Me

JoJo - Disaster

I didn't want it this way, I only wanted to say
I loved you right
But now you walkin away, and leavin me here to stay
So foolish of me to wait for you to realize
All the things I gave you, made you, change you
Your dreams came true
When I met you, now forget you
Don't want anymore

seperti yang dulu - Ungu

Daughtry - September

Liz Phair - Why Cant I

Alexa - Jangan Kau Lepas

the last note

how foolish i am

why am i not able to pull away from my past?

my past is happier now, i've seen to that

my past dont wish me there, i've learnt that too

then why am i being an idiot,foolish,stupid person?

even them,

whom i called friends,

doesnt even notice my absence.

even them,

whom i called family,

doesnt seem to care.

what more do i need?

what more saddening proof do i want?

what more reason do i have

to continue this dark alley

called life?

none.

so,

thankyou to those who had given me bits of merry memories

thankyou to those who used to care and comfort

may u have a blessed life

n make happy future

for now i bid u

farewell

lost,hope n living corpse

a friend of mine said something to me

which was somewhat surprising

cause i would never even think of it

for im scared that i will just disappoint myself

n hurt myself even more

but now that she said it,

i cant help but to ponder her thoughts

i know it will never come true

i know that i will hurt myself

i know i will never recover from it this time

but its too late

i've started thinking about it

cause its every girl's dream!

n no matter how hard i try,

now,he wont leave my mind that easily.

Lord,

what did i do to deserve such cruel punishment?

i have loved with all my heart

i had never

even once,think of dishonouring that love

why?

why do i have to live with

an empty heart

like a living corpse

with no chance

of being saved

mr song

in my prayers,i keep asking God

to make me strong

to make me able to go through this turbulence

to make you a faint memory

i keep on repeating this song

even when im sleeping

yes this song make me sad even more

make me feel that hollow hole in my heart

make me feel the excruciating numbness

but i cant stop but to listen to it still

as painful as it is, its a soothing spell that keeps me company

when all the world left me out

to mend my heart alone

closure

please

eventhough everything is in the past now,

at least, let there be a closure

so that my mind and heart are at ease

u never understood u'r everything to me

Look at me
And listen close
So I can tell you how I feel before I go
Just a year
It's not much time
For me to show you I am proud that you are mine

I wish I had known the future in my heart
Was just about to start

Say tomorrow
I can't follow you there
Just close your eyes and sing for me
I will hear you
Always near you
And I'll give you the words just sing for me

Every lock
On every door
I put them there to try and hide you from the world
And you kicked
Yeah, you screamed
You never understood, you're everything to me

I just hope you know, the future in your heart
Is just about to start

Say tomorrow
I can't follow you there
Just close your eyes and sing for me
I will hear you
Always near you
And I'll give you the words just sing for me

No looking back when I am gone
Follow your heart it's never wrong
No looking back when I am gone
Don't second guess the note you're on

Out of time
All out of fight
You are the only thing in life that I got right

Say tomorrow
I can't follow you there
Just close your eyes and sing for me
I will hear you
Always near you
And I'll give you the words just sing for me

crying out

theres just some things that i cant share with others

theres just some things that only you know

theres just so many things that i need to cry out to you now

cuz theres just so many stuff and matters that only you would understand

i know you know

and you promised to always be here for me

you promised to take me away from all this

even if u wont keep that promise

atleast listen and dont just disappear

cuz theres just so many things that only you would

hear me out

hmm

let you go

and let the lonely in

to take my heart again

can the lonely take the place of you?

broken pieces of

the barely breathing story

where there was once love

now theres only

me

&

the lonely

how i wish it didnt have to be this way

never one without the other

we made a pact

its time to face the music

i'm no longer your muse

in another life

we'd keep all our promises

be us against the world

unspoken

there's just so many things left unspoken

wished u could know it all