Mixed feeling. Complicated

I prayed,
if he wasn't for me,
then let this feeling subside.
then I noticed
I wasn't that into you anymore
I wondered why at first
but then I remembered my request to Him
He grant my wish.
it's not that I regret it
but I am a little bit sad.
Cause we're not as close as we once were
even though it was so brief
now I don't know how to act
I don't know how to invite you to hang out
I'm not even sure whether you wanted anything to do with me anymore
I'm scared I'd be a burden
I don't want to always be in your way
but then again
you're always the first person that came to my mind
if I wanted to go anywhere,
do anything with,
It'd be you
not because I like you, no
but because you're nice to be around
even though you're so mean to me
blerghh

S O S

I need you
Please call me

Escape

I hate it here
But
This is my only escape

I'm not okay

It's just freaking hard
And fucking tiring
To have to pretend that you're okay
When really inside you are not